Monday, July 24, 2017

Quit

I want to quit. When I say that, I mean my job right now. 

It isn't for me. And instead of going into work to try to make it work for me, I would rather say my goodbyes and end it on my terms. Of me leaving the place and finding something else. 

That something else could very well be a coffee shop job or bookstore. Something entirely different from what I have now. 

He asked me what my dream job is....... my answer: to write and share stories. I want to tell a story to an audience. A part of me misses watching kids and when it's time for nap time I would tell them a story. Something completely made up on the spot that gives them imagination and dreams (and yes, makes them fall asleep) 

I want more than just a 9-5 job. I want a career and I'm in my early thirties and I still haven't found it. I know I want to be a mom. I want to hold and raise my kids. I want to tell them stories of how he and I met. Of how I knew he was the one. Of how things came to be. 

I live mostly in my head. Ok, entirely in my head. I need a "job" that will let me be creative. I miss creating. The type of jobs I have now are so structured and confining. Sometimes, I can't breathe. Most of the time, I am more or less just threading water. 

I'm barely keeping my head up. As much as I like structure, I like not being confined to a cubicle for the rest of my life. I need to have the ability to move. I need minimal supervision and some feedback. 

I need to take a leap of faith. Maybe enroll in an art class. Just do a part time job. Lower that need to make the big bucks. Because I want to do something for myself. Something that makes me happy again. 

And staying in the job I have right now isn't going to help. It already has hindered me. I want to be free. 

The only thing remaining is am I ready to take the plunge? Am I ready to take that leap of faith? Right into deep, unknown waters... 


No comments:

Post a Comment