almost

I almost made it... that is, writing an entry on here on a daily basis and what-not.

I almost got out of the darkness, too. But it lingers. That sadness sure knows how to make its presence known. I would like to talk to an impartial party but not necessarily anyone who is a psychologist or psychiatrist. I just need to ...vent? I think that's what I need to do. I could be totally wrong though, too.

I need to make an effort and be a better friend. I also need to consciously stop berating myself or feel negative (this one will be hard to do) as much.

When I was younger, like back in the Philippines... I distinctly remember looking up at the skies constantly, and at night, I would imagine how it would feel like to dance among the stars. Granted, I also said I was going to be a singer and neither one of those wishes haven't.

I mostly daydream nowadays. I drift off into my own world and sometimes, I don't ever want to wake up. I much prefer my dream world. In my dream world, I'm married and I have children. I have a job that I like (which just tells me I haven't found said job yet) and I appear to be happy. Not melancholy. Not down. But actually happy.

I wish I knew why I was so happy. Because I'd like to be happy now. But again, dream world versus reality --- one day, my reality will be my dream world. It's just the whole waiting sucks.