the secret

She found him by the rusty swingset. A cute, little boy with brown curls and big, bright blue eyes. She found him crying the next day at the same spot, and still she didn't talk to him. Mommy told me not to talk to any strangers, she told herself, unaware that someone was watching her. But, her mind replied, he's on a little boy. And so, she made a promise to herself that tomorrow is when she'll talk to him, to the cute, little boy with brown curls. Tomorrow, I'll say hello.

But, tomorrow never came, and the cute, little boy wondered where the girl with the straight black hair went. He looked everywhere for her .. the first time he spotted her, she by the sandbox playing with several other children. The second time, he thought that she was staring at him while he was by the swingset, crying because his pet Charlie th rat died. His cat Frederick ate him.And today is the third day he was at the playground. And the girl with the straight black hair was nowhere to be found. His sister picked him up an hour later.

She asked him about the girl. His sister seemed to think that he had a crush. And he didn't even know what or who a crush is! He was, after all, only five years old. All he knew is that he liked the girl with the straight black hair. She didn't come today, he replied. His sister nodded, and he didn't see the tears forming in her eyes. He wasn't paying any attention. He looked straight out of the window like he always did, wondering why his sister is weird, and why his brother was tall. Maybe I'll be tall like him, too, he thought.

Together, they went home.

When they got home, he quickly unbuckled himself from the booster seat, and came running into the kitchen. Today, his mother didn't even notice! At dinner, he found out that his mom cooked him his favorite dinner, macaroni and cheese. And let him have a soda for a drink! I wonder why she's letting me, but his thoughts wandered away as he noticed that the television was on. He then thought, but we never have the tv on during dinner. Then, he heard his mom say he can't go to the playground anymore, not by himself and that his mom or his sister will be with him from now on. And he asked why, mad that he had to have either his mom or sister be there. Why can't my brother come with me? Because was all his mom said. Fine he yelled.

He didn't finish his mac-and-cheese.

He also didn't get to go to the playground the next several days, either. It was either raining or his mom wanted him to come with her to go grocery shopping or some other stuff. His mom never asked him before to go, and he wondered why now. He never did ask her, though, because at dinner, she informed everyone at dinner that they were all going to go and see Grandma. Really, he said. Then he asked, but the day we get back from seeing Grandma, can we go to the playground. His mom nodded her head.

A couple days later, his mom finally took him to the playground, and he noticed that they weren't a lot of kids around. He also noticed that there was some yellow ribbon or something around the sandbox. And his mom told him that he can't play there for a long time. Why he asked. His mom said that it was a crime scene. A what he asked. But, his mom didn't know how to respond to that. Instead, she told him to never talk to strangers.

Xanga...

I found my Xanga username and had to reset password, but I found Xanga and logged in. According to the site, the last time I logged in was back in 2011 ----- four years ago!

And I read through some entries.
Wow.

I wrote a lot. From 2003-2011(the entries from 2003-2009 doesn't show up, though; probably bc of the update that Xanga did OR I put them all in PRIVATE ...hmm) .... I basically chronicled my college life and some of my graduate/law school, too. Wrote about Hawaii and W. Wrote about DrFastAndFurious... Wrote about B. I'm having serious nostalgia from reading my Xanga journal.

I can't believe it hasn't been purged from their site!

this is OUR story or the beginning of one ...

My Mr. J and I started talking/sending each other messages back and forth from the online site where we met. Mutually liked and he sent me a nice message ... and the rest is kind of writing itself now.

Our first date was a month and a day ago. It surprises me that we've only known each other a month; it feels like I've known him longer. We finish each other's sentences. We think on a similar brainwave... and we're both scared for what this could mean.

But we are both giving this - us - a try.

I find it interesting that even though we have so many similarities, our unique differences make us who we are .... and it amazes me so much that my jaw hurts from all the smiling I've been doing as of late.

Whatever the ending may be, I think I'm going to write it as much as I can. Because the moments we spend and the memories we create while we're together ...I want to remember everything I do with My Mr. J :smiles: I want to remember how we poke fun at each other, and the laughs we have, and the times we hold hands... I want it all.

My Mr. J makes me think it's possible for that elusive happily ever after. And that within itself is scary. But I want to know so I'm staying because as I keep reminding Mr. J --- I'm in it for the long haul. Challenge accepted.

My Mr. J, I already told you: and I will keep telling you in person: I'm falling for you.  

Write about falling. (Remember to go with your "first flash," and write for 10 minutes without stopping or thinking.)

Falling in love was not something I expected. Especially with my track record... my past relationships only lasted three years. Never went any further.

And now? Falling for him - for my Mr. J - well, I'm at a loss as to what to do. Feelings I thought I buried deep within are resurfacing, and I'm once again questioning ---- but Mr. J makes me feel safe. Mr. J makes me all sorts of things/feelings/whatever you want to call them.

Mr. J quite undoubtedly makes me happy. And I hope I make him happy. Mr. J deserves happiness, too., and no, I am not putting him on a pedestal. He is great. Awesome. We haven't known each other long, but it feels as though I've known him far longer than I have. We finish each other's sentences. We are in sync. Similar interests, similar background --- and through all of that, we still maintain our differences, our individuality.

My Mr. J is ... he makes me smile just by thinking of him. My Mr. J is the first and last thought I have every day it seems since we first met.


Mr. J, I know you know this, but I'm your girl. I'm not going anywhere any time soon; I told you that I think I'm falling for you. Well, let me amend that: I know I am falling for you. My feelings are quite loud in that aspect.

---
The prompt asked for falling and that's what I thought of -- falling in love. Not falling down the stairs. Or whatever else that may be more appropriate. I could write more, but I'll just be gushing. :blushes: